𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕥𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

Why does jello taste better at the hospital than at home?

Because it’s the first thing you’ve had in your mouth since all the blood or puke or life saving plastic tubies would be my guess.

Worst hangover story?

Freshman year, college. The limits of my liver were as of yet untested and i was feeling brave. Too brave. Went to some dive off campus and untold amounts of jager bombs later my friends and i were piling into a cab and i think i got into an argument with the cabbie about the sox versus the yankees. This was exactly the wrong fight to have with drunk me. Drunk me was feeling ornery and still unnaturally brave and conveniently i was sitting in the passenger seat so i thought this was exactly the right time to headbutt the guy in a moving vehicle going ~35 miles an hour. None of us were seriously hurt but i woke up maybe 12 hours later in jail on assault charges. i had to apologize to the cabbie and acknowledge the merit of the sox and spend another 24 hours in jail to learn my lesson. did i learn it? debatable.

What's your earliest memory?

Crawling around in the kitchen with some of my older cousins, pretending to be household pets and begging for treats. Another cousin thought it’d be funny to feed me a dog biscuit. I was 100% committed to my craft and ate it. That was my first roleplaying experience. I was three.

Tell us, in twenty-five words or less, about the perfect place to be by yourself.

freefalling 12,000 feet with nothing on your mind except how much you really hope your parachute opens.

  do you have any weird habits?

too many to count. or list. or remember.

  what about deathly allergies?

my body violently objects to any feline presence. this devastates me only because if they ever master genetic engineering i'll never have the cat girl of my dreams unless she's hypoallergenic. otherwise i'm just thankful every day the allergy lotto didn't pick nuts or dairy instead.

  if there was a voice narrating your life, whose would it be?

steve buscemi.

  cake or pie?

cheesecake.

  what are your thoughts on midnight munchie sessions?

you can only see one color for the rest of your life, which is it?

red seems like the practical choice for reading important traffic signs and knowing when you've suddenly started bleeding but neon blue means i can enjoy tron legacy.

you get vegas married to a celebrity, who do you choose?

  are you a pessimist, an optimist or a realist?

i could look deep within myself for an answer, but i'd rather let buzzfeed tell me:
"You got: Optimistic
You are upbeat and always see the positive side of life. You have a firm grip on reality, and maintain a cheery attitude even when things aren’t going your way. It’s hard to keep you down because you see setbacks as temporary and use them as tools to get better."

  what would be your life motto?

"be excellent to each other."

  what do you consider some of your guilty pleasures that you don't feel the least bit guilty about?

all of them? all of them. though the money i spend on dating sims instead of important things like paying down my credit card debt means they should probably be at the top of that list.